It’s inevitable that you’ll deal with criticism in your life, be it from an employer, a family member, or a random person on the street. When it happens, it’s easy to take it personally, and it’s not uncommon to want to lash out in defense or shift the blame back to the critic. However, this type of behavior doesn’t help anyone; instead, defensiveness can lead to negative outcomes. An unhealthy approach to criticism is like adding fire to a flame, resulting in damaged relationships with your coworkers, your family, and even yourself.
So, how can you avoid negative consequences and successfully deal with criticism? Let’s look at 6 healthy ways to improve how you cope with criticism:
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1. Stop and Take a Breath
What happens when you’re faced with criticism? Does your heart start to beat faster and your temperature rise? Does a white-hot anger cloud your vision? Maybe you’re the opposite and feel like you’re moments from breaking down. Before reacting to the situation, it’s vital you stop yourself from impulsively reacting in a way you’ll come to regret. Take a moment to just breathe and calm yourself down. It will give you a moment to compose yourself so you can properly approach the situation.
2. Recognize Criticism as Feedback
Often, criticism is taken as a personal attack. However, when you take a moment to clear your mind, you’ll be able to recognize that criticism may be an opportunity to gain valuable feedback and improve yourself. Say to yourself, “This is not personal,” and repeat it as often as you need to until you can confidently manage your emotions.
3. Practice Active Listening
If criticism is feedback, it’s important to understand what that feedback actually is. What is the true intention of the criticism? For instance, if your boss is giving you feedback on a mistake you made, they’re probably trying to convey how you can fix and avoid the mistake in the future. Try to understand what your critic is saying and seek clarification if you need to. Once you’ve found the heart of their message, you can unearth valuable insight.
4. Take Ownership and Move Forward
Nobody’s perfect! This is important to remember when dealing with criticism. Everyone makes mistakes, and coming to terms with this will help you deal with criticism in a healthy way. Acknowledge the criticism you’re receiving and understand that it’s an opportunity for self-improvement. When critics see that you’re genuinely invested in their feedback and want to make positive changes, they’ll have more respect for you. Thus, removing defensive behavior can lead to better work relationships, family relationships, and more.
5. Thank People for Constructive Criticism
It may not always be easy but say thank you for the feedback someone gives you. Even if you don’t agree with everything they’ve said, you can still appreciate the input. Remember, while not always said in the nicest way, most criticism is given to help you better yourself so you can achieve your goals. Showing gratitude for the feedback can help you calm your impulsive reactions and better prepare yourself to take criticism in the future.
6. Understand Your Boundaries
Where there is constructive criticism there is also deconstructive criticism. Unfortunately, some people thrive on tearing others down, criticizing with the sole purpose of making them feel bad. Sometimes, we are faced with people in our life who criticize everyone constantly. Some of it may be warranted; others, not so much. The key is to show grace in the face of criticism, without letting ill-intentioned people walk all over you. Make sure you’re communicating your boundaries in a calm, respectful, and kind manner.
A Healthy Way to Deal with Criticism
When coming face-to-face with criticism, it doesn’t have to rule over your emotions. By practicing these 6 steps, you’ll be able to approach criticism in a healthy way to improve your overall wellness and your relationships with the people around you.
